green gingham days

I stepped out of the house this morning to routinely start my car...and low and behold, sweater weather is no longer with us! The sunlight was so warm so early today. I pretty much spent my weekend outdoors- a trip to the Getty Museum near Santa Monica with Roger, and gleefully restoring that '75 Schwinn bicycle that crossed my path not too long ago.

I also drove out to the shops I talked about last week...turns out they are just antique shops? I didn't go into either, they were in a weird 2 story bulding that was just too complicated to figure out LOL. So I am still full of ideas and daydreaming every single day...this shop of mine will happen.

I picked up the new album by She & Him, with Zooey Deschanel. I have been listening to it nonstop during the last week. I love it. I wasn't quite on the bandwagon with the new female singers...this album tops them all. She sings of heartbreak and new loves. It's soothing and it has encouraged me to move on fairly quickly from my own situation. As hard as it is to open up to someone, it is so easy to shut down again, that wall is back up for the new people I may encounter in the near future. I can see it coming.

That is why I decided to focus on selling my inventory at this moment in time. I've been slacking and it needs to go up a notch again. I realized I can't get comfortable. I enjoy pushing myself to work harder and attain more. It's a constant thing in my head. Perhaps it's striving for perfection.

back to the drawing board

What's life without hurdles and battles?

Last year, when I decided I wanted to open a shop in town, a store pops up with my idea in Apple Valley. I then said to myself, okay, we'll see how they do. Well, they've been open for a year now. Obviously doing alright. About two weeks ago, I devised a plan for myself. I'll save up extra money, enough for about 3 months rent, and open a shop. Doh of course I find out yesterday a couple shops opened up in Hesperia just recently. I haven't been in them yet, but curse the day if they are exactly what I wanted to do. Grr. Maybe luck will be on my side and I can think of something different than what they carry. I'll have my own niche. It's vintage clothing and they better not carry it. Haha.

Ah, more power to them, I'm happy the desert is growing. I just let these ideas in my head that pass by and I'm not sure how to grab on for the ride.

The Smoketree Jucntion Flea Market was a bust! Who knew? But I tried. I had my own booth at the Rose Bowl Flea Market, too. Not a bust, but it would have been nice to do a little better. It's a fact I did better with Garri on the new side than having my own booth in my own section. haha. I'll be doing that for a while...just have a small rack in her booth. By now I know what sells there, so that will be fine for the time being.

I'm still having these crazy ups and downs when it comes to being an entrepenuer. It's the same issue as when I first started...being alone, not having any real support. By watching Garri run her own business, it gives me confidence that I can do it. I guess you can say I see her as a mentor, she's empowered me more than anyone else in the last few years.

I've been nonstop thinking about how I can move forward. I'm looking to revamp my website with new images (next month I'll have them out!) and I am setting a goal to start listing a few items everyday online. Although everyone knows I detest the online thing, it's what will get the most play, unfortunately (considering I wanted to sell in a physical store). *Deep Breath*

A friend of mine is going fishing today, I'm gonna head out and hang out with him for a little while. We both have stuff going on, I think he'd be a good person to talk to, not biased, or judgemental. I brought my camera, too, hopefully some good photos come out.

'Til next time...

i knew it was coming

I wrote this blog, April 2nd, but never posted. It's a good time to do so now.

uh oh. (Working title)
I am not sure how today's entry is going to turn out. I don't know where I am going with it. This won't be a superficial post. I need a place to vent and I am nearly in tears.Lately, I have been going through some major ups and downs.Normally I would be desensitized to everything around me. Since I have met Joel, my heart has opened up to a new level. And I am thankful for that. But also comes a down side. I am super touchy, I am very pessimistic when it comes to things that are misunderstood. Lately, I haven't felt I meet his expectations. Nothing I do is good enough.

The dog I rescued ran away Sunday. I can't even bribe a starving dog with food and shelter. I was at an all time low for two days after this happened.

Friendships come and go, I know. People grow apart. I would think someone who has been in my life for what seems an eternity, would not forget me.

I'm stuck in the desert for the time being. I feel caged.I am thinking about taking another road trip, soon. And by myself this time. It's been on my mind constantly. Last year's trip was so enlightening and I need a boost of that again. Perhaps that is my addiction. This isn't a metaphor for running away from my problems, I learned so much on my last trip. I came back a new person. I want that again. It's time. Maybe the dog and I were two peas in a pod...meant to be lone wolves, kittens, married to the sea...

SmokeTree Flea Market Round 1

So I finally got around to reserving some space at the local flea market. I'll be bringing most of my inventory. Mention my blog post and score a great deal. I hope to see everyone there, I'd love to see this flea market thing be super successful. Not just for me, but a place where our community can go and look forward to each month.