Beatnik way of life

Oh, how I dream of the days when I could lay on my bed, listen to punk rock music for hours on end, and read a book in 2 days time. No real worries in retrospect, where boys were the heartbreakers and dreaming of living in a far away city was the ultimate desire. I really do blame Kerouac for the latter. Hopping trains, side jobs here and there, drinking, promiscuity. To me, that was glamorous in a not-so-Hollywood kind of way. Where I was always going against mainstream, never felt like I belonged - anywhere. I still feel that way but have learned to embrace it and roll with it.

Now more than ever I miss being able to finish a book. I needed that inspiration to get my own writings on paper. I've had a few good things here and there- being published in an internet database and some sort of club inviting me to read the poem in a venue in San Diego...I respectfully turned it down...I do not like the spot light on me. I'm more of a behind the scenes kind of gal, to tell you the truth.

I've had some obstacles the last few weeks to deal with and the transition is hard. I am by far not complaining, but I feel maybe I owe an explanation to my MIA status. I'm not sure how long it'll last, but I hope to be back to my normal schedule in due time. With this transition and found friendship with a long lost person from a time I wrote the most, he's inspired me to write again. I miss the translation of feelings onto paper and then sharing them with close friends (but would die if an outsider read it). Because reading gets my mind churning, I will be using my free time to catch up on a few books and hopefully figure out a way to release some pent up thoughts onto paper.

I really wanted to make this into a beatnik fashion inspired post- but with a few minutes of not finding anything on Google that I fancy, I gave up. I decided "beatnik" is a frame of mind. One of that outsider who just keeps moving, never really planting a seed in any one place.

I did find one thing, and I've already placed a hold at the library...I'm looking forward to reading this book...